7 Easy tips to help ensure your child's internet safety

I have a couple of teenagers and another child about to become one. I am a caring father and a professional in the field of information security. Naturally I am concerned about the well-being of my kids when the use the Internet.

These are few tips based on my own experiences with my own children.

1. Talk to them
I have talked to many parents that claim to have an open dialog with their kids. There are basically three types of relationships with respect to parent-child dialog as I see it.

There are parents that have an open dialog with their kids, there are parents who think they have an open dialog with their kids but don't, and lastly there are parents that don't have an open dialog with their kids and they know it. The best method to approach your child will largely depend on which group you are in.

I like to consider myself as having an open dialog with my children but I am not naïve enough to think I know everything of what they do. Make attempts on a regular basis to sit down and learn how your kids use the computer. Get involved with them. Ask them to teach you about MySpace, instant messaging or the newest online game. I know my kids enjoy my involvement.

Parents who do not have an open dialog with their children need to start NOW. It may be difficult at first and your child may wonder “what’s the catch”. I urge you to stay consistent and build a habit out of demonstrating interest. Of course, counseling is always an option too.

Whatever you do as a parent, do NOT ignore the risks or think that they won’t affect your children. A false sense of security is no security at all.

2. Set boundaries
My children are not allowed to use the computer any time they wish. There are rules and boundaries to their usage. If I did not set boundaries, I am sure my kids would use the computer until their fingers bled. Your rules depend on your household and/or your beliefs, but set rules and communicate them effectively.

Just some of my boundaries:
- No computer usage until homework is done. (I do follow-up with teachers)
- There are only certain sites that I approve off.
- Very limited computer usage during nice days
- You must ask me before using the computer
And others…

If it helps, write your boundaries down on a piece of paper to share.

3) Work with them (will they let you particpate too?)
My teenage son loves to play games online, and I am not one to miss out on the fun. Last year we were talking about the games he plays online. He got me hooked on an online role playing game called Runescape. I am a game addict, so I have to be sure I follow some boundaries of my own! It's fun to share what we do and brag about our accomplishments.

My teenage daughter is more of a socialite, so her choice of Internet locations are MySpace, YouTube and blog sites. When she finds something interesting, she will share with me. When I find something interesting, I will share with her. We have a great time laughing about what we find.

IMPORTANT: Give some semblence of privacy. This is especially true with my daughter. She needs her space, so I do not hound her constantly about what she does. I realize that she needs to have private conversations from time-to-time with her peers. This is a balancing act. Allow her to have her space, but keep tabs too.

4) Stay consistent
My children don’t think twice when we talk about our Internet usage or safety. I don’t change the rules and I don’t spring things on them. There is an understanding built on trust and consistent clear communication. Stay consistent in the message and rules.

Equally important is to stay consistent in the punishment. Recently my teenage daughter broke one of my rules. Not a major rule, but a rule nonetheless. She lost computer privileges for two weeks. She knows why she was punished and she knows I care.

5) Understand the risks
Do some research and speak with facts. Don’t expect your children to take you at your word, especially if they are told differently by their peers. Once you are armed with facts, share them with you kids. Ask them how they feel about it.

Good resources for the facts:
SafeKids
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
FBI: A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety
MySpace: Safety Tips

Do some searches. There is much to learn!

6) Observe
This is a very simple tip. Have your children use the computer in an easily viewable location. Explain to them the reasons why.

7) Install controls
There are plenty of parental control software options on the market. I have used and can recommend Net Nanny. Install the software per the manufacturer’s specifications and check the access logs regularly. Follow-up with you children on any unusual changes in Internet access behavior.

Conclusion
None of these tips alone or in combination will guarantee your child’s Internet safety, they will only reduce the likelihood of something bad happening. I feel much better about my children’s safety since following these seven tips and our relationship has only become stronger.

Take an active role and don’t be intimidated by the technology or your children’s perceived mastery of it! Read more!

When did kids get the right of free speech?

Sometimes I stumble across news or information that makes me wonder "What the &*@?"

Today the news is "Court Upholds Expletive Laced MySpace Posting". Read the story, then read the actual court decision.

Lawyers like to make things complicated, but I understand some of what the decision says ;). What I can't get around though is the fact that this very troubled juvenile delinquent is now some kind of hero for the rights of free speech. If she isn't now, she will be soon.

I have more questions than I have answers. I am flabergasted about how children are allowed to behave today. Should a child be rewarded for acting out like this? I also wonder where the parents are in all of this. Do they stand behind their daughter's actions?

I could continue my ramble and rant, but I'll let the news stand and continue to wonder. Read more!

The MySpace Journey - Day Two (Part 3)

Nothing notable on any of the three profiles today.

My Real Profile
I got a spam message for a loan application. The offer was intriguing, but I did not apply.
I also received an automated message with the subject "hey sexy". This is a message with a link a references to sexually explicit material.

The Other Two Profiles
No activity at all other than 1 profile view for the 15 year-old male profile and 2 profile views for the 14 year-old female profile. I have not done anything on these two profiles yet, and both profiles are basically blank. In order for people to find these profiles, I will need to add some information under one, more, or all

I noticed MySpace in the news today in a story labeled "Man sentenced to 10 years for assaulting girl he met on MySpace" This is a news story about a 41 year-old volunteer firefighter who molested a 14 year-old girl he met on MySpace between March, 2005 and February, 2006.

What Next?
It's time to add some content to the MySpace profiles. In order to access a MySpace profile, I need to visit http://www.myspace.com (in case this wasn't obvious!) and login by typing my email address and password in space provided on the left hand side of the homepage. After I successfully login, and am presented with my profile home page. From here I can enter detailed profile information that I want to share with other members of the MySpace community.

To edit the MySpace profile, click the "Edit Profile" link just to the left of the profile picture.






The profile categories that are available for edit are Interest & Personality, Name. Basic Info, Background & Lifestyle, Schools, Companies, Networking, and Song & Video on Profile. I am going to enter information under the "Interest & Personality" header today. Here I can enter information into the following fields:

• Headline, whatever is typed here will show up in my profile just to the left of my profile picture


• About Me


• I'd Like to Meet


• Interests


• Music


• Movies


• Television


• Books, and;


• Heroes

Notice the warning in this graphic.

It states "Warning - Please be aware that MySpace is accessed by thousands of users every day; since you do not know every user on the MySpace site, exercise caution when posting personally identifiable information. " I didn't even notice that this warning was there before.

I am going to enlist the help of my teenage children to complete the profiles. I have seen each of their profiles and they have really spiffed them up, and I just realized that I know less about this generation that I originally thought!

Again, MySpace is a "piece of cake" to use. It is very user-friendly. Although I like the warning, it doesn't do much to deter a teen from doing what he/she wants to do online anyway. Relying on people (especially teens!) to read warnings and take action is wishful thinking. I promised that I would read the MySpace "Safety Tips" and I have. I will write something about them in the next post.

Read more!

The MySpace Journey - "Creating the Profiles" (Part 2)

Creating profiles on MySpace is really a simple process, and purposely so. Part of the reason for the success of MySpace is the easy of use. The first step to beginning the journey through the MySpace world is to create a profile. As mentioned in the previous post, I will be creating three profiles as part of this project.

The first step in creating a MySpace profile is to visit the MySpace home page, http://www.myspace.com/. At the top right of the page, there is a “sign-up” link.



Clicking the sign-up link brings me to the “JOIN MYSPACE HERE” page. I am prompted to type my email address, first name, last name, password (and password confirmation), country, postal code (zip), date of birth, gender, and language preference. I can also choose to allow others to see when it is my birthday (enabled by default). In order to proceed, I have to enter all of the fields and check the checkbox labeled "By checking the box you agree to the MySpace Terms of Service and Privacy Policy".


Clicking the "Sign Up" button at the bottom of the page (in the graphic above) takes me to a "Verify Account" page that displays a graphic with letters in it. I must type the letters correctly in order to proceed. This step is in place as an attempt to stop programs written to create accounts automatically. Spammers are notorious for creating hundreds or thousands of bogus accounts used to email legitimate (human) ones.



My account/profile is now created, but as part of the sign-up process I am prompted to upload pictures to share with other MySpace people. Before I am allowed to upload any pictures, I have to check the checkbox labeled "I have read the saftey tips". I wonder how many people, especially kids actually read them. I click the checkbox (I did not read the safety tips, but will later), and click the "Browse" button to upload a picture to use for my profile.



Next, I am prompted to invite my friends on the "Invite Your Friends" page. For now, I am going to skip this step by clicking the "Skip for now" link at the bottom of the page. The sign-up process is complete, and I see my profile page.



If I check the email address that I signed up with, I will have an email from MySpace asking me to verify my email address. This verification consists of clicking a link provided in the email. This is required if I want to communicate effectively with other MySpace members.

Break Down - The Good

The MySpace sign-up process was so easy and simple to follow along with. I was able to setup the three profiles that I will use in this project in less that 30 minutes. I liked how MySpace included some security steps along the way during the sign-up, i.e. the image verification step and "safety tips" checkbox. Clearly, the MySpace sign-up process was built for ease-of-use.

Break Down - The Bad

No age verification is a serious issue in my opinion. I can state my age as whatever I want. I can be a 10 year-old signing up as a 20 something, or I can be a 40 year-old pedophile signing up as a 16 year-old. I am not a seasoned pro when dealing with age verification, but I would think that MySpace could come up with something. The lack of age verification has been a serious point of contention between child advocacy groups and MySpace for some time.

As part of age verification, it would be nice to include a parental consent process of some sort also. Although I liked how MySpace included a link and a required checkbox concerning the safety tips, it still doesn't seem like enough to me. On the "JOIN MYSPACE HERE" page, I have doubts as to the effectiveness of Terms of Service and Privacy Policy agreement. Can you legally hold a minor to this?

Sign-Up Conclusion

The sign-up process was designed with easy-of-use at the forefront, security and safety were added as an afterthought.

Tomorrow I will complete the “Pick your MySpace Name/URL!” process, go through some of the MySpace safety tips, and share any notable events regarding any of the three profiles.

Oh yeah, Happy Easter!

Read more!

The MySpace Journey – “The Project” Announcement (Part 1)

A Little Background
Let me start out by telling you a little about myself. I am an information security professional (professional because I get paid) and a father of four wonderful children. Three of my children are intimately familiar with MySpace, and two have active profiles (Dad nixed one).

In the “big picture” that is the Internet, MySpace and other social networking sites offer a wonderful opportunity to meet new people, share ideas, and learn things that are happening in our world. I am a big fan!

In my “little corner of the world” I wonder how MySpace and social networking can affect me and my family. As I wonder and question, I become motivated to do something. My motivation:

1. Nothing is more important to me than the safety of my family. I try to do everything I can to protect my family. It’s my responsibility!

2. It pains me to see people get hurt. When I read articles like “MySpace mom's teen is pregnant”, “Man Arrested Again For MySpace Sex Crimes”, and “’Social surfing' could lose parents millions to ID fraud”, I feel terrible that people didn’t know any better!

3. I know I can offer advice that could help. If nothing else, people might just become aware.

Thus the creation of the MySpace, MyGeneration workshop and this project.

The Project
I have been researching MySpace and the whole Web 2.0 craze for a while now. I have much to share, but I want to know more. I want to share more. I am still amazed at how much life has changed since I was a kid!

The purpose of this project is to gain a better understanding of the risks and benefits of MySpace to myself and my family (my family is actually particpating which is a great learning experience for all of us).

The approach I am planning to take is to document three, 30-day journeys through the MySpace world. I understand that I will not be able to venture out into the entire MySpace world, but I think I will be able to give you a good picture of the landscape.

The Three MySpace profiles:

1. My normal everyday, 36 year-old, married, information security guy profile (for those of you that are interested my profile name is “TrustedToolkit”)

2. A fake, 15 year-old, male profile (I will share this profile name when the project is complete), and;

3. A fake, 14 year-old, female profile (I will share this profile name also upon project completion).

Profiles 2 and 3 are created in order to see what (potentially) my children (and yours) see. Profile 1 will give you a view of what I normally see as a parent.

Tomorrow - The MySpace Journey – Profile Creation

Read more!